CLASSES & WORKSHOPS

New Relationship Energy (NRE) describes the thrilling emotions and infatuation experienced in early romantic bonds. Symptoms can include obsession, heightened attention, and idealization of partners. We can feel euphoric and super-charged. But NRE comes with its own perils. We can rush into commitments too fast, ignore red flags, neglect existing relationships, and even be overwhelmed by emotional frenzy.

This class examines what NRE is, its biological and psychological origins, common mistakes - including the particular pitfalls related to BDSM and polyamory - and how to navigate from infatuation to lasting, authentic relationships.

Establishing and maintaining Power Exchange dynamics between two people can be challenging. Stir in multiple partners and you have a potent mixture that can rock your world - or blow up in your face. Traditional polyamory and ethical non-monogamy (ENM) can clash with the hierarchies inherent in Dominance & submission. 

This class reviews concepts of polyamory & ENM, the foundations of power exchange, and examines how ENM and D/s mix (or don’t). Sir Panda engages with pitfalls and best practices - including topics such as direct and “stepped” authority, protocols for metamours, and poly agency in multiple D/s dynamics.

Attachments are emotional bonds formed in childhood, and whether we form secure or insecure attachments is dependent upon how our needs for attention, love, and growth are met. The patterns set in place carry forward to how we form adult attachments, including friendships, romantic partners, and the bonds of power exchange.

This presentation covers the basics of Attachment Theory and expressions of attachment styles, including a deep dive into the most recent research on how attachment is manifested in different BDSM identities and roles. Sir Panda also examines the advantages and disadvantages of each attachment style, and how to encourage secure attachment in ourselves and in our relationships with others.

Being exposed to certain kinks - kinks we judge harshly or don't understand - can provoke feelings of disgust, anxiety, even jealousy, This class reviews different types of dynamics and play (including more extreme "edge play") that might provoke negative responses to those exposed to them. Sir Panda discusses how to use discretion without being discriminatory, learning how to withdraw and self-soothe, and recognizing those occasions when you might need to report.

This class dives into the four principles of YKINMK , the different emotional reactions when a particular kink triggers us, how to avoid kink shaming and embrace sex positivity - and finally reaching "But Your Kink Is OK." 

One aim of a responsible person is to act ethically in life and in the kink community. But what does "ethical" really mean to us? When it comes to BDSM, this discussion often stops at definitions of consent - without consideration of the wider world of ethics and ethical dilemmas, and how deeply they touch each and every part of our lives.

This class explores what ethics are; the elastic distinctions between ethics and morals; the established categories of ethics; how ethics informs the law and vice versa; mistakes, negligence, and bad faith; and what ethical behavior looks like - both in interpersonal relationships and in the wider community.

Power. Authority. Dominance. Control. We often use these words interchangeably, but while there are commonalities, they are far from the same. Understanding the distinction between power and authority can improve leadership and effective decision making, as well as recognizing if you are being responsibly Dominated, wisely led, or simply coerced and abused. Awareness of the interplay of power and authority fosters clear roles, increased security, and greater personal fulfillment in healthy relationships.

In this class, Sir Panda draws the important distinctions between authority and power and examines the forms and sources of both - both legitimate and not. With an examination the foundations of power, formal vs. informal authority - as well as resistance to authority - and the role that reason and empathy play in different paradigms, the presentation works towards not only an understanding of differences, but describing how an enlightened approach can lead to more balanced dynamics.

In the kink community, we talk a lot about what consent is, and how to reach good consent in play and with partners. Yet consent injuries happen all the time. What happens after things go wrong, and a consent incident impacts a friend, a stranger, or a community? What are your best responses as a third party?

This class will briefly touch on what consent is and how to secure it, then go beyond and examine how to best react when a consent incident touches us, as a stranger, a friend, or an event host. Sir Panda covers the language used when consent is broken and how best to help those who have been harmed. Discussion includes providing informed assistance vs. making things worse, how to gather facts rather than rushing to judgement, and consequences for those causing harm such as apologies, punishments, and restorative justice.

Whether we're fully conscious of them or not, we express our values and boundaries in our everyday lives. We may start with good intentions, but what we don’t know or admit about our guiding principles can hamper self-awareness, hamstring relationships, and sabotage play or ongoing dynamics.

In this interactive workshop, Sir Panda examines what core values are, and how to discover them within ourselves. He leads three different exercises to uncover the most important values and beliefs you hold at your deepest level, recognize your most closely-held boundaries, and define the protocols you have (or wish you had) in your relationships. This workshop is intended to increase awareness and provide tools to better integrate core values, boundaries, and protocols into our interactions, resulting in a more authentic dynamic.